James 24:7

I led a study of Psalm 73 last night.  This morning I got up and was thinking about how contemporary it is and decided, as a way to plant it more firmly in my own mind, I would rewrite it- at least in terms of how I understand it and how it speaks to me.

Psalm 73

"Well, this is what they tell me:

'God is good to those who are upright, to those who are pure in heart.' 

I have to tell you: I just didn't see it. 

I remember a time when I almost fell flat on my face because I experienced so much envy for the arrogant; I was taken in by the peaceful and happy lives of those who don't give a rip about God.

I watched them and it seemed to me that they had no pain.  All I saw were buff bodies, great teeth, beautiful hair, sharp clothes and cool cars.  It seemed to me that they didn't have a care in the world.  I never saw them sweat.  They just didn't seem to experience the hard edge of life like everyone else.  I never saw them beaten up or beaten down.

What was not to envy?

They got away with murder.  They strutted their stuff.  Their pride was their bling and they wore their violence on their sleeves.  Their botoxed eyes swelled only with their own wealth.  I got the impression that their imaginations were filled with all kinds of crazy ideas. ('Last week I did this and next week I'll do that!')  Life, to them, was like one big candy store- open and ready to be robbed.

They seemed to come out of their guts with their disdain for other people (even people like me!) and sometimes I thought, 'They are looking for ways to own me too!'

Their hypocrisy worked for them.   They went around with their mouths shouting the joys of heaven while their tongues dragged the earth lapping up everything in their path.

And everybody ran after them sniffing like hounds for autographs and photographs.  They howled, 'Oh please like us.  Please accept us.  Please acknowledge us.'  They bought their image and made it their own and thought of them as gods and goddesses.

And the buff and beautiful said things like this: 'What does God know?  God is off in the la-la land.  What does God care? What can God do?  God is way, way away; God cannot reach this far.  If you want it, go get it.  If you can conceive it, you can achieve it.  The world is your oyster. Follow me! Buy my DVD series; get my CDs.  There are 3 simple steps and 4 keys to my kingdom.'

And, as I watched them and envied them...and, yes, even hated them, I saw the rich got richer, the beautiful glowed in their own reflections.  Even when they fell in dung they got up smelling of roses.  Even when they tripped, they landed on a step higher up on the ladder of success.

And then I looked at myself: I did everything God wanted in just the way God wanted it: first the heart, then the hands.  I didn't fall for 'mere religion' with it's outward show.  No, I purified my heart before God and I cleansed my hands.

But you know what? Those were just empty gestures.  I may as well have been cleaning my toilet for what it got me. I get the royal hell beat out of me everyday.  The boss. The traffic.  The 'hurry up and wait.' The mindless daily grind.  And then the so-called 'sanctuary of home.'

Right!

Of course, I had to hide all of this from the kids and the people who look up to me.  I couldn't be all that out front about my feelings, my anger and my jealousy.  I wouldn't want to cause them to lose faith.  (How ironic! Here I was disbelieving the God-thing while encouraging them to persist in it!  What a wretch I was and a hypocrite too!)

I tell you: I came to the point that I just about broke under the strain of it.  My envy.  My jealousy.  My anger.  The buff and beautiful had it all, got away with murder and did so by saying that everything I had been taught was a lie- that God was not loving, close at hand and prone to be involved.  It was if everything I held dear was made a mockery by people who only became richer and healthier and more beautiful and adored.

I just couldn't get my mind around it all and, to be honest, I hit bottom.  I took my rage and confusion and plopped down in the presence of God...

And then, suddenly, everything fell into place.  Just like that I saw the truth.

I had been looking only at the surfaces.  I had been thinking only of the present.  I had been seduced by the bling of the bold and beautiful. I had been basing my whole life on a snapshot in a celebrity magazine. I had not thought of them in the totality of their lives; I had not contemplated their end.

On top of that, I had begun to build up ideas about God based upon what I observed in one glitzy moment.

How could I have missed it?  I needed the presence of God to see that those who set themselves up as gods- who bedazzle the masses with their lies and their wealth and their success- are idols on ice, ready to slip, fall, and break into a million pieces.  They are characters in God's worst nightmare.  When God wakes up they disappear and God says, 'Good riddance!'

Yes, I had always heard that God is good to the pure in heart but I decided not to listen to that.  I became enchanted by the beautiful- those who seemed to have the world by the tail.

How stupid of me!  I had become 6 billion pound slug intellectually, emotionally, morally and spiritually.  I was like some worm which lies in the mud at the bottom of a deep, dark sea.  And, to make things, worse...I was like that toward God!

I see now, God.  I see that my hand has continually reached out to you- even in my stupidity! I thought I wanted what they had when all the while I wanted You!

Even in my stupidity you held on to me and did not let me go.

I see now how you guide me with your word and comfort me by your Holy Spirit.  I hope in my future with you- a future filled with such glory as to make the glory of the godless like utter darkness.  You guide me in the present and wait for me in the future!

I have no one in heaven but you, O God. And what could I possibly need on earth or even long for on earth that is better than you?

You can count on me to fall flat on my face, Lord.  You can count on me to fade away like the fog I sometimes embrace.  I see now how great it is that you go on with me, that you are merciful and strong...my very heritage.

Yes, those who reject you and lead others astray,  those who hold themselves up as gods will fall flat on their faces even though appearances may argue the opposite.  Their lives will be judged by the totality of their days.  Their ends will show them for what they truly are.

All I know is that what I was told is true: You are good to the upright and present to the pure in heart.

What can be better than having God?  What can be better than snuggling up to a loving Father?  You, O God, are my rock.

And now, if you will excuse me...I am going out to tell everyone I know!