James 24:7

Twelfth in a series of reflections on a story from the Desert Fathers)

"Abba Lot went to see Abba Joseph and said to him, 'Abba, as far as I can I say my little office, I fast a little, I pray and meditate, I live in peace and as far as I can, I purify my thoughts. What else can I do?' then the old man stood up and stretched his hands towards heaven. His fingers became like ten lamps of fire and he said to him, 'If you will, you can become all flame.'"

"If you will, you can become all flame."

This morning these words of Oswald Chambers from My Utmost for His Highest caught my eye.

"God’s revelation of Himself

to me

is influenced by my character,

not by God’s character."

While I could quibble with that, there is truth there.  My character - the history, the patterns, the convictions, the underlying way-of-being that I am- must play a major role in how I relate to God, especially in terms of how open I am to God.

Paul said as much about the Jews and the gentiles of his day.  "Jews demand miraculous signs and Gentiles demand wisdom..." (I Corinthians 1:22) Each class of folks had their own criteria by which to determine what was of God and what was not of God.  

Each one of us do too!

I look back over my years of searching the Bible, reading books and asking questions and see how often I have tried to construct some system of criteria by which to measure the presence or the will of God.   "If this, then God...If that, then not-God."

I read somewhere once that baseball managers study the "proneness" of opposing players. Their minions scout other teams and keep a record of how the oppossing players tend to hit.  Player A may be drawn to certain kinds of pitches under certain conditions.  He may be prone to hit into left center but not into right field.  Some managers have extensive data to support their views.  They want to know the opposing player's "proneness."

We tend to do that with God.  We search out God's proneness.

"I know it is of God when there is a miracle for God tends toward miracles!"

"I know it is of God when it is esoteric for God tends toward esoterica!"

"I know it is of God when it makes sense for God can only be a reasonable God!"

Isn't it interesting that we seldom hear anyone say: "I know it is of God because it is ordinary"?  How often do we hear anyone say: "I know God is at work in me when all people notice is the work in me but not me at all!"

Here is another of Oswald Chambers' insights:(My Utmost for His Highest: 11/16)

"But to do even the most humbling tasks to the glory of God takes the Almighty God Incarnate working in us. To be utterly unnoticeable requires God’s Spirit in us making us absolutely humanly His."

"To be utterly unnoticeable requires God's Spirit in us..."

Our own desires, our needs, our self-at-war-with-self tendencies, our agenda influences God's work with us and in us.

Abba Lot seems to have had a great deal of practice in this all-too-human practice of dabbling in self-selected spiritual practices.   While I cannot get into his head, I wonder if perhaps he engaged those practices as a way to hold God at bay while, at the same time, striving for deeper intimacy with God.

I try to imagine what my marriage would be like if I approached my wife with a recipe for marriage grounded in my expectations and convictions about how she works. 

I wonder how it would have gone over with her if I said: "Let's see.  Today I have pencilled in 10 minutes of conversation with you...three hugs...one kiss and one chore.   After that, I am done with you for the day."  

I take it back.  I don't need to imagine what my marriage would be like.  I know what it would be like.  It would be like being...unmarried.

Yet isn't that exactly how we approach God? 

"Let's see, God.  Today I have you pencilled in for a morning devotion, 5 minutes of prayer and a quick read from the Psalms."

And we wonder about our spiritual life?

We cannot "Abba Lot" our way to God.   We cannot assume that our way, based upon our character, is sufficient for that encounter with God. 

All we can assume is that our way suits us.