James 24:7

Eleventh in a series of reflections on a story from the Desert Fathers)

Again...here's the story:

"Abba Lot went to see Abba Joseph and said to him, 'Abba, as far as I can I say my little office, I fast a little, I pray and meditate, I live in peace and as far as I can, I purify my thoughts. What else can I do?' then the old man stood up and stretched his hands towards heaven. His fingers became like ten lamps of fire and he said to him, 'If you will, you can become all flame.'"

"If you will, you can become all flame."

What exactly is it that we choose?  Abba Joseph presented Abba Lot with two alternatives: stay the way you are, do what you currently do or become all flame.  

The choice between those alternatives was clear.  However, if Abba Lot selected the "all flame" option how would he embrace it?  "I want option two...so how do I embrace it?  Having selected it, how do I engage it?"

Abba Lot may have decided to become all flame.  However, he could not set himself on this-kind-of-fire.  

A long time ago when I was studying family therapy I learned about a phenomenon called the "Be Spontaneous Paradox".  The BSP is a relational pattern wherein one party in the relationship commands, orders or directs the other person in the relationship to do something which, by definition, cannot be commanded, ordered or directed.

"Fall in love with me!"

"Like me!"

"Catch fire."

What is the other to say: "Okay, I'll do that at 2 o'clock this afternoon?"

If the other does as commanded, the commander can never be sure that the other has really obeyed.

"Fall in love with me!"

"Okay!"

"Wait! How do I know you aren't just saying that or just 'falling in love with me' because I told you to?"

The BSP always sets up the one to whom it is directed  for failure.  If the commanded does as told, the commanded is suspect.  If the commanded  does not do as told, the the commanded is disobedient, uncaring and unresponsive.

Abba Joseph could order Abba Lot to "become all flame."  And Abba Lot could have command himself to become all flame. And both men could have experienced failure!

If you don't believe that, just try it.  Tell someone close to you to "catch fire." (Many a preacher has commanded the congregation to do just that!)  Or, tell yourself right now: "Catch fire!" (Many a Christian has told himself to do just that!)

The flame about which Abba Joseph spoke could not have been set by the one to whom he spoke.  On top of that, the flame about which Joseph spoke could not have been set by Joseph either.  He did not own a spiritual match.

We cannot order another or ourselves to "spontaneously combust."  If we cannot order that or even will that into being ("I will now spontaneously combust!") the choice we make to become "all flame" cannot be a choice, by effort of will, to burst into flames.

I think about the many times I have felt frustrated to the point of despair in my spiritual life.  I have wanted to burst into flame.  I have tried to burst into flame.  I have brow beat myself because I could not do it. I have spoken with many people over the years who have shared that same despair.

We all must come to terms with the fact that we cannot do that which cannot be done.  To bemoan the fact that I cannot catch fire and to blame myself for it is like bemoaning the fact and blaming myself that I cannot flap my arms and fly.

That I have wanted to and that you have wanted to exposes something deep in us... 

somewhere

in the recesses of our hearts and minds

 we believe that we are

 God. 

What else could we have believed when we thought that we, in our own power, could do that which is by nature impossible? 

But we do it all the time.  We play God.

• Have you ever tried to make someone love you?
• Have you ever tried to control another person? 
• Have you ever tried to remodel another person?
• Have you ever tried to root out a deep prejudice?
• Have you ever tried to make yourself feel something you just didn't feel?
• Have you ever tried to believe something you did not believe?
• Have you ever tried to not think a compulsive thought?

We cannot do the impossible but God can...and does.

Abba Joseph's offer to Abba Lot- "If you will, you can become all flame"- was an invititation to abandon his self-determined, dabbling, task oriented approach to matters of the Spirit and to embrace a relationship with the one who specializes in flame...

the one who might just as well be called The Firestarter.